Wayne Davis
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Grasshopper King Declares “Ant Civilization Will End Tonight”
Yard – Calamity and Chaos filled the backyard today, after an entire ancient civilization of ants faced the wrath of the tyrannical Grasshopper King, 79-days emerged from its nymph stage. “An entire civilization will end tonight” the grasshopper was heard exclaiming, pumping its fists skyward as other grasshoppers in congress around the king continued to
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After Easter Tweet, Delighted Ares God of War Offers to Become New God of America
Mount Olympus, America – Supernatural rumblings took place over Easter Weekend, as an invigorated Ares of Greek and Roman lore made waves by allegedly reaching out to US officials to declare and offer his services of ‘the true god of your nation.’ “The Easter Tweet was all I needed to confirm it. America wants the
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Armies of Darkness Surrender in Fear, Learn Chuck Norris Has Joined Angelic Forces
Today reports emerge that evil has suffered a ‘devastating reckoning’ after learning Earthly hero and great man Chuck Norris has ascended to Heaven to take his rightful place amongst the angels. The move has put Beelzebub and company into a frenzy of fear and panic. A local minister reports the Lord of Darkness himself reached
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Confirmed: ‘The Aladdin of Iran’ Destroyed F-35 With Ancient Desert Magicks
Iranabia – Mixed reports were discussed in the Holler today all but confirming ‘The Aladdin of Iran’ has now joined America’s war in Iran. News footage showed America’s prize F35 stealth fighter, berthed from a $20 trillion project, was felled today in battle after coming across Iran’s revolutionary airforces. Americans who watched Disney in the
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Local Father Adjusts Thermostat on Last Day of Winter, Declares ‘We Made It’
Sasnak Heights – After months refusing to turn the thermostat 1 notch above 55 degrees, local father Greg Patterson approached the thermostat early Thursday morning with the quiet resolve of a man who endured the greatest of hardships. Witnesses say he paused for a brief moment, hand hovering over the dial before declaring “We made
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Local Man Gets Taste Slapped Out of Mouth, Asked Wife “Leftovers Again?”
Sasnak Heights – Local dad and union member Bobby Kierney told local outlets he was ready to tell his story. It is one that has intrigued many for several weeks now and has gained national acclaim. Bobby’s story starts out on a day like just many others. He kissed his wife and daughter’s goodbye and
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Fed-Up Suburban Dad Builds Trebuchet to Launch Neighbor’s Dog Poop Back Over Fence
Sasnak Heights – A neighborhood dad was forced to go to Lowe’s to buy materials to create a yard-based trebuchet system to strike back at his dog-walking neighbors. “Their dog drop a massive deuce I did not see. And during the first cuts of Spring grass, I stepped in it. I squished in it. I
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US Forces Destroy Suspiciously Painted Iranian Falafel Burger with $90,000 Missile
IRAN – Mixed reports are coming in that THE America’s not-war in Iran is being masterminded by ancient advanced trickery techniques being employed by the Iranians. As is well known, Iranians are no strangers to magicks such as genies, Caves of Wonders and other supreme abilities. So it should come as no surprise that America
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Sasnak Holler: The World’s Friendliest Hollow
Plan your next road trip to Sasnak Holler, a unique destination that offers food, fun, and community spirit.
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Live Music at Sasnak Holler
Experience live music and fine acts at Sasnak Holler, where entertainment meets community spirit.