Sasnak Heights – After months refusing to turn the thermostat 1 notch above 55 degrees, local father Greg Patterson approached the thermostat early Thursday morning with the quiet resolve of a man who endured the greatest of hardships.
Witnesses say he paused for a brief moment, hand hovering over the dial before declaring “We made it…we made it.”
For four months, witnesses report Peterson stonewalled any request to increase the temperature, telling them “unwavering resistance and layered sweatshirts” would be all they needed for winter comfort.
“55 degrees is all you need to keep a pipe alive from freezing, so thus a family needs no more,” Peterson declared, hands on hips as he proudly regaled in his promise to keep his thermostat set all winter.
“Once the wife and kids thaw out from the ‘cold’, we will celebrate the last day of winter by sharpening the blades and setting the thermostat to 85 for summer,” Peterson proudly declared as his upcoming weekend plan.
